The fastest goals ever scored in football
There’s nothing quite like letting the opposition know you’re there by scoring a goal to quickly take the lead and put the pressure on.
A “first lead” is sometimes an understatement, however. Every now and then a ball starts well in the first few seconds and a player may draw blood before the fans have even taken their seats.
The fact that stupidly early goals don’t happen often makes them feel even more special when they do. So, sit back and train with your best one-liners from World Cup Alan Partridge 94 commentary; here are some of the fastest officially recorded goals in football.
Not only was it officially the longest goal ever, but it also came after 13 seconds, and was scored by a goalkeeper.
How could we do not to include Asmir Begovic’s punt against Southampton in the roster? One foot like a traction motor. The Barclays in full flow.
Not quite the fastest goal in top football history, but smart nonetheless, Juanmi’s strike against Eibar in 2019 was silky smooth.
Long ball, one-two in the zone and finish. Ground training.
Hakan Sukur’s second strike in under-11 against the Republic of Korea to put Turkey third at the 2002 World Cup remains the fastest goal scored in the tournament final.
Now there’s one to stick proudly on the fridge.
Some see Kevin Volland’s strike against Bayern Munich in 2015 as the fastest Bundesliga goal of 0.03 seconds, while others claim the record is still held by Karim Bellarabi for his shot against Borussia Dortmund in 2014.
The fun thing to do would be getting them to settle the score in a wrestling match against the “fastest Bundesliga goal on a post”, but since they are credited together elsewhere, we will also give them a joint entry.
Once the fastest goal in MLS history, the Premier League’s favorite Australian threw a sky strike for the New York Red Bulls in October 2013.
Man has only socialites.
Shane Long embodied the phrase ‘let them know you’re there’ with his strike against Watford in 2019, making him the fastest goalscorer in the Premier League to date.
Pressing at the level of the British Sunday League, combined with an obscene dink that suits the elegance of the Spanish elite.
Bringing Cahill off the perch in MLS was at least another Red Bulls player.
Much less impressive, but they all matter. Mike Grella’s deflected shot against Philadelphia Union hit the back of the net and saw him become the record holder for the fastest goal in MLS history.
You know illustrated MLS story of mental kits and bizarre penalties.
Current record for the fastest goal on international level, Lukas Podolski broke the deadlock after just seven seconds against Ecuador in a friendly in May 2013.
Arsenal could probably do with their serves right now …
In Milan’s quest to climb back to the top of the mountain in Italian football, they had to break a record along the way.
Rafael Leao completed an absurd Rossoneri tactic that looked straight out of FIFA against Sassuolo in December 2020, to become the record holder for the fastest Serie A goal.
Passing Leao by 0.1 seconds, Felix Suarez set the record for the fastest Copa Libertadores goal with his strike against Colombian club Independiente Santa Fe.
In a time long before records like this were considered cool and destined to end up in online rosters, Albert Mundy became the world’s fastest goalscorer with his strike against Hartlepool United while playing for Aldershot.
It took 4.1 seconds for Gustavo Ramirez to hit an all-time scorer in the top corner and give Mineros the advantage against Necaxa in 2014.
He remains the fastest goal in Mexican football, and arguably the best.
The magic of the FA Cup was in full swing here, as was the relentless madness of the early 2000s.
Gareth Morris of Ashton United holds the Telegraph record for the fastest FA Cup goal for a qualifying round effort in 2001 against Skelmersdale United.
The lack of video footage leaves its inclusion in the air, but it enjoys the doubt, for cup’s sake.
Damian Mori’s strike from kick-off in 1996 went effortlessly and felt like we should all be scoring a bit more from the kick-off.
His second goal of 3.69 earned him the Guinness World Record for the fastest goal ever scored that year.
Mori’s goal was not enough, however, to improve Colin Cowperthwaite’s effort in 1979, with split times that Formula 1 would be proud of.
Barrow’s top scorer and appearance holder scored a stupidly quick goal in 1979 which, at the time, was the fastest on the planet.
Frederico Chaves – more commonly known as “Fred” – made history early in his career when he scored the fastest goal in Brazilian football for America Miniero.
Sadly, that memory wasn’t enough to keep him from becoming the scapegoat for Brazil’s horrific 2014 World Cup campaign.
In everyone’s favorite league, the Portuguese fourth tier, Carlos Almeida scored a goal from the kick-off in 2011 for his team FC Oliveira do Hospital.
It is worrying, this score of the kick-off. Better to practice.
We’re officially entering the stupid seconds zone at this point.
Argentinian Ricardo Oliveira’s second strike in 1998 was an officially recognized Guinness World Record for several years, earning him a nosebleed in the list.
Controversy surrounds this one as Marc Burrows scored in an amateur bout, but the FA officially recognized the goal, so he could register safely.
Burrows smashed a home goal in 2.5 seconds for the Isle of Wight Cowes Sports Football Club formation, making him one of the fastest goalscorers of all time and, at one point, the fastest goalscorer on the planet.
He sadly passed away in 2009 after a battle with cancer.
Yet another British non-league game is coming up to clinch the top spot on the list, because of course it does. Whatever can happen in non-league football.
Gavin Stokes became the fastest goalscorer of all time in 2017 with a ridiculous effort from the kick-off while playing for Scotland’s Maryhill side.
It’s a punt that the first Randy Orton would be proud of. What a successful son, what a success.