Luis Suarez has arguably had the most action-packed career of the modern era, both on and off the pitch. From the silly to the sublime, from the bite to the plunge – especially in front of David Moyes – and sensational goals, he is never far from the action.
Love him or hate him, there’s no denying that the long-term pantomime villain has had a stellar career. The Uruguayan has scored lots of goals for Groningen, Ajax, Liverpool, Barcelona and Atletico Madrid.
Here, 90 mins takes a look at the top 30 teams that suffered from the hands (and teeth) of the Japanese talisman.
What better way to start the list than the man in question who packed all six – yes, six! – of his goals against Wezep in one match.
Suarez, 22, helped Ajax win a club record 14-1. All the good practices for the buffets against Norwich that would follow.
OBJECTIVE: Luis Suarez #wigan 0-4 #lfc
– Liverpool FC (@LFC) March 2, 2013
Not quite six in a game, but Suarez had a hat trick against Wigan in 2013.
The Latics would be relegated later this season.
That’s six goals for Suarez against Los Franjirrojos, who are undoubtedly grateful that they only crossed paths five times, even though they lost them all.
Suarez can be seen here in connection with Messi in his debut season as MSN began to find its feet.
Another La Liga team that constantly suffered at the hands of the Uruguayan was Las Palmas.
Six out of six means the team now stuck in the Segunda Division are likely happy they don’t have to face them anymore.
“Take off for Luis Suarez…”?#OnThisDay in 2011, @ LuisSuarez9 scored on his debut with the Reds. ⚽️ pic.twitter.com/aMOLDdMDFm
– Liverpool FC (@LFC) February 2, 2019
Suarez started his Liverpool career on a flyer against Stoke in February 2011.
As a substitute, Liverpool’s new number seven scored to take the lead to 2-0 ahead of Kop in what quickly became a weekly ritual.
Levante was another sight sick team from Barcelona and Suarez. However, they will have savored their 5-4 victory over Barça, which ended their opponent’s record of 43 league games unbeaten.
However, Suarez would soon make them pay off in a 5-0 mauling the next time they met, helping himself to a goal.
Another example of a young Suarez terrorizing the defenses of the Eredivisie.
Suarez can be seen wearing the captain’s armband here, as Ajax new boss for the 2009/10 season, Martin Jol, chose the 22-year-old as his executor on the pitch.
Three goals in two matches for Suarez saw Groningen get rid of Utrecht in the Europa League playoffs in 2007.
Suarez’s mullet may be long gone, but his extravagant celebrations have been present throughout his career.
Perhaps one of the luckiest teams on the list, Real Sociedad have only conceded six to Suarez in 13 games.
Having been kept silent eight times, Suarez broke his silence in 2018 with the help of two beauties, helping Barca recover from 2-0 to win 4-2.
Like Sociedad, El Submarino Amarillo has faced Suarez 13 times and hasn’t won once.
Nine wins, four draws and six goals show the former Barcelona star still coming out on top in this one.
2015/16 was Suarez’s stellar year at Barca, as Sporting Gijon would find out, sending him five in two games.
Scoring 59 goals in 53 games, Suarez was MSN’s all-star player in the only year he managed to beat Lionel Messi.
With 40 goals in 35 La Liga games, he also won the La Liga Pichichi Trophy.
Seven goals in seven games characterize Suarez’s ruthless record against sides in the Premier League’s lower half; no one was safe.
He finished his run against the Black Cats with five goals in his last four games against them.
A special entry for Suarez.
Not only did he help himself take a hat trick on the final day of the 2015/16 season to reach the illustrious 40-league goal mark against Granada, but four years later he scored the first goals in his career at Atletico Madrid by coming off the bench in his debut to score two points and help another.
Another home start to remember, this time for Ajax against SC Heerenveen in 2007. Suarez’s opener at what is now Johan Cruyff Arena saw him score two points.
A year later, he scored again in the Europa League qualifiers at Heerenveen’s expense.
The 2017 Copa del Rey round of 16 saw Suarez plunder his 100th Barcelona goal, pulling off the feat in less than three full seasons.
The Copa del Rey would be one of his favorites, winning it every year for the first four seasons of his Barca career.
VVV-Venlo’s troubles against Ajax began long before their breathtaking 13-0 loss in 2020.
In 2009/10, Suarez scored seven goals in two games against Venlo, showing that they have long been used to sending goals to De Godenzonen.
A team that Suarez undoubtedly enjoyed playing against, winning all five fixtures in the process.
De Graafschap was happy to see his back after suffering a 5-0 loss thanks to a hat trick from Suarez before leaving for Liverpool in January 2011.
Engraved in memory as one of Suarez’s best performances for Barca, Deportivo were at the reception of a masterclass.
A scorer with four goals and three assists, Suarez was in searing form. This match was followed by his quadruple against Gijon, becoming the first player in La Liga history to score four consecutive goals.
Another team who had to sit down and watch MSN in full flow.
It was against Celta Vigo that Messi and Suarez succeeded where Robert Pires and Thierry Henry had failed, the former putting the latter in place from the penalty spot.
Suarez took advantage of a goal against Atletico, where he now plays. He won both strikes in the first leg of the 2016 Champions League quarter-final, although Atletico won the second leg 2-0.
Other than that, Diego Simeone’s side only managed two 18-game wins against Suarez.
Suarez scored against Vitesse for Groningen and Ajax, facing them eight times in total.
With nine goals, Vitesse managed to keep him silent on just one occasion.
Yet another team to receive a hat trick from Suarez in the 2015/16 season.
In eight games, the Uruguayan has scored ten.
2009/10 saw Suarez score 35 goals for Ajax in just 33 games, as Roda JC became another member of the ever-growing club list having conceded him four in one game.
In truth, Espanyol didn’t do it badly having conceded just ten goals against Suarez in his prime.
Unlike some of the other teams here, Espanyol have been unlucky enough to be tested 15 times by the fiery striker, so his total of ten could be a lot worse.
Real Betis have not done so well. With 11 goals in just eight games, it’s fair to say their defense struggled to contain former Barcelona number nine.
He scored a hat trick against them in the opener of the 2016/17 season, picking up where he left off from his Golden Boot campaign from the previous year.
Willem II kept him silent in Groningen, but Suarez scored two hat tricks against them twice during his days at Ajax. All 11 goals have come in just seven Ajax games.
Great. Both Barca and Atletico fans will rejoice that Los Blancos are one of Suarez’s favorite teams to face.
He scored a hat trick against Real in 2019 and also scored a brace in 2015/16.
Barcelona have made Sevilla suffer in recent years.
They have been beaten as Copa del Rey finalists twice, UEFA Super Cup and Super Cup, thanks in large part to Suarez and his goals.
Suarez has lost only once to Valencia in 14 appearances and has scored 12 in the process. They have become another victim of conceding four goals in one game.
Poor Norwich.
Suarez has only appeared six games against them and yet managed 12 goals, despite a shutout in their first meeting.
Suarez will look very affectionately on playing the Canaries and John Ruddy, whose nightmares he probably still haunts, after scoring two hat tricks and a quadruple.
It also seemed to only mark absolute caps.