Decorate the rooms with holly branches, fa la la la la, la la la la.
This is the season for 90 mins to rank the top 15 European players using quotes from Christmas movies, fa la la la la, la la la la.
“You can play with a lot of things, but you cannot play with the children at Christmas.” (Home Alone 2: Lost in New York)
Young Danilo has clearly taken the abandonment of the power ranking personally.
After two scoreless games, the Ajax lender has scored in both of his games this week to climb to the top of the Eredivisie scorecard.
“Okay, let’s show them the people, ‘Operation Santa Claus is coming to town!’” (Arthur Christmas)
Calvert-Lewin was Everton’s Santa this week as he was clearly in the mood to give.
So often the scorer, Calvert-Lewin went creative as he garnered his side’s crucial help in the 1-0 win over Chelsea.
“The life of a man touches so many others, when he is not there, it leaves a very big hole.” (It’s a beautiful life)
Berghuis played against VVV-Venlo and scored in Feyenoord’s 3-0 win.
Berghuis did not play against Vitesse and saw his team lose 1-0.
“It’s like Santa’s workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms… and everyone seems to want to hurt me. ” (Elf)
Vardy had Tottenham wanting to injure him after scoring in Leicester’s 2-0 win this week.
It wasn’t even Vardy’s best performance of the week, with Brighton fans still in shock after seeing him score one goal and two assists against them earlier in the week.
“At this point in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to give a little speech.”
“And it’s a tradition for us to take a nap!” (The Muppet Christmas Carol)
The past week has been an important one for Muller, who apparently rewarded himself with a few days off.
Bayern have been fairly calm in their squad’s first two games but showed up as needed to lead their squad to victory in a top-of-the-table game with Bayer Leverkusen.
“These are the creatures!”
“Ah, the creatures.” (Gremlins)
Mbappe looked like a strange creature this week with his …interesting blue hair.
He spent most of that week sitting on the bench, but in his one start he managed to find the back of the net against Lorient. Effective.
“If anything should happen to me, put on my costume; the reindeer will know what to do. (Santa)
Something has happened to Goncalves.
His ten-goal streak in the last six games came to an abrupt end in Sporting CP’s 1-0 win over Farense, and he didn’t even score in the Cup game against Mafra either. This is unheard of!
“Are you coming to dinner again?”
“Am I still invited?” (Miracle on 34th Street)
Christmas dinner at Anfield could be a bit awkward this year after Salah’s recent comments.
It clearly didn’t distract Salah, who finished this week with four goals and one assist in all three of Liverpool’s games, most of which came as a late substitute in the 7-0 mayhem at Crystal Palace.
“I don’t know what to say except it’s Christmas and we’re all in dire straits.” (National Lampoon Christmas Vacation)
Spurs are in dire straits this week after back-to-back defeats to Liverpool and Leicester saw them drop from first to sixth in the Premier League table.
Son was one of the few players to show up for Jose Mourinho’s side, with the South Korean ending the week with a goal and an assist.
“It’s all I dreamed of.”
“Could this all be a dream?”
“No.” (The Polar Express)
Tavernier must have the impression of dreaming.
It took the Rangers until mid-December to lose their first game of the season, which is ludicrous in itself, but the most insane is Tavernier’s scoring record from the right-back.
He scored one goal and two assists this week, bringing his tally to 17 and 14 in just 29 games in all competitions. It defies logic.
“True love lasts a lifetime.” (Love in fact)
Manchester United fans will always love Bruno Fernandes.
The club savior added two goals and an assist in his side’s 6-2 win over Leeds, although he nearly ruined the happiness with his genius Nickname “Scottynaldinho” for Scott McTominay.
“I am the Pumpkin King! HA! HA! HA! HA!” (The nightmare before Christmas)
Serie A king Lukaku is absolutely tearing it up this year.
This week has scored goals in three straight games, helping Inter move closer to rivals Milan at the top of the table.
“I need a little peace and quiet… or whatever it is people are leaving for.” (Vacations)
Not only did Kane fail to score in two straight games for Spurs, but he was powerless to keep them from falling to two straight losses.
“Have you given up yet? Or are you thirsty for more? ” (Alone at home)
Two goals against Genoa. Two goals against Parma. Ronaldo was thirsty for goals this week.
He has only played nine league games for Juventus this season, but still managed to climb to 12 goals.
“Blow that Christmas music. It is joyful and triumphant. (How the Grinch Stole Christmas)
Lewandowski triumphed this week when he beat Ronaldo and Lionel Messi to the 2020 FIFA Best Male Player crown.
If that’s not enough to justify his place on the throne this week, what about his five goals in three games?
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